5 ways to work with imposter feelings
Imposter feelings can feel very real and urgent in the moment, and many people respond to them by working harder, preparing more or avoiding situations in which they might be judged or exposed. While these strategies might work in the short-term, in the long run, they can unintentionally keep the cycle of self-doubt going.
In this blog post, we’ll touch on different ways to bring awareness and agency to these imposter feelings, so that you can explore new ways of responding when they arise.
1) Acknowledge and share your feelings
Imposter feelings often thrive in silence and shame. Bringing them into the open can be an important first step.
Sharing your experience with someone you trust can help reduce the sense that you are alone in it. It may also help others feel less isolated in their own experiences.
If this feels difficult, speaking with a therapist can provide a space to explore these feelings more safely and slowly. This might be particularly useful if you’re an expat and international and are far from familiar support systems.
2) Change your relationship with your thoughts and feelings
We often experience our thoughts as facts, even when they are not.
It can help to gently shift from identification to awareness. For example, instead of saying “I am an imposter”, you might notice “right now, I’m having the thought that I am an imposter”.
This creates a bit of space between you and the thought itself. You might also begin observing your thoughts and feelings with curiosity, asking:
What is the feeling trying to tell me?
What different ways could I respond to this thought or feeling?
Over time, this can help you relate to your thoughts and feelings in a less automatic and more reflective way.
3) Out with the old rulebook
People experiencing imposter syndrome often carry rigid internal rules, such as:
“I must always be prepared”
“I can’t ask for help”
“I have to do everything perfectly”
These rules can create ongoing pressure and self-criticism.
A first step is to notice them and gently question whether they are helpful or realistic. You might then experiment with more flexible alternatives, such as:
“I will do my best with what I have right now”
“Asking for help is a learning opportunity”
4) Practise asking for help
Imposter feelings can make it difficult to reach out, as it may feel like a sign of inadequacy, and this can make it an isolating experience.
However, no one is expected to manage everything alone. Practising asking for support, whether practical or emotional, can gradually challenge this belief.
It may also help to shift away from comparison with others, and instead ask:
“What can I learn from this person?”
5) Recognise and acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments
Imposter syndrome often narrows attention towards perceived flaws and away from strengths. It can be helpful to intentionally bring balance back by noting your skills, achievements, and qualities. If this feels difficult, you might ask others for input, like your friends, family or colleagues. Learning to receive positive feedback, without immediately dismissing it, can also be an important part of this process.
From a Gestalt therapy perspective, the goal isn’t to get rid of the imposter feelings but to bring them into awareness. Over time, exploring what is there for you - rather than what you think you should be - with curiosity and compassion, can open up new perspectives and possibilities. This is often the ground upon which change can occur.
Resources
Ted talk: Fighting impostor syndrome
Book: The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It – Dr. Valerie Young
Book: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Dr. Brené Brown
Book: The Imposter Cure: Escape the Mind-Trap of Imposter Syndrome – Dr. Jessamy Hibberd